imagine your icon teaching you how to kiss
it’s cute that they sell family sized oreo boxes thinking that people are gonna share them with their family
six word autobiography: “fuck goddamnit i fucked up so bad”
guys i specifically made that sentence seven words long so someone could comment “but thats seven words” and i could say “fuck i did it again i fucked up” so we could all have a good laugh but no one said it. yall fucked up. i fucked up because i assumed yall wouldnt fuck up. everythings fucked uphey but that’s seven words
au where all the money i have in video games gets transferred into my bank account
why is the dark version of a character always the super sexy version like help me
the darker the berry the sweeter the juice
wow i’m a teenager trying to figure out this horrifying dystopian world with minimal resources and constant terror while frequently fighting just to stay alive you know what i really have time for
a love triangle
2yo, holding tape measure up to my back: “You are, uh, 25 minutes. Now go to sleep in your bed.”
do u ever go on youtube to listen to a song and somehow wind up listening to every hit song from the last ten years
Great scene, and based on an actual historical incident in medieval Germany:
When King Conrad III defeated the Duke of Welf (in the year 1140) and placed Weinsberg under siege, the wives of the besieged castle negotiated a surrender which granted them the right to leave with whatever they could carry on their shoulders. The king allowed them that much. Leaving everything else aside, each woman took her own husband on her shoulders and carried him out. When the king’s people saw what was happening, many of them said that that was not what had been meant and wanted to put a stop to it. But the king laughed and accepted the women’s clever trick. “A king” he said, “should always stand by his word.”
Medieval women were BAMFs.
john is so scary when he’s really angry because he just smiles. that’s it. just a smile.